what's the worst OKcupid/POF date you've ever been on?

Common themes with these posts:

1. Girls are always way fatter than then make themselves out to be on pictures and online personas.
2. None of these girls have cars.
3. Never follow warning signs
4. Dirty-ass sexual relations

girls on online dating websites are kind of like escorts when you think about it

Nothing as crazy as the shit posted in these threads, but i have been fooled by the bait and switch once

Arranged to meet a girl at a local bar in an evening, i can't remember why at the time but i was in a pretty shitty mood and probably should have just cancelled, but i didn't Arrive at the bar and take a look around, don't see anyone i recognise so i order myself a pint and take a seat to wait for, what i assume to be a tidy little brunette to arrive. As it turns out she was already in the bar, i just hadn't noticed her because i must have mistaken her for a small planet or something. I felt a tap on my shoulder, turned around to be greeted by this gargantuan beast claiming to be the girl i arranged to meet. I fucking saw red, i don't know what it was as i'm usually very reserved and wouldn't go out of my way to hurt anyone, but all i could do when faced with this unit was to loudly proclaim "OH COME ON" and quickly neck the rest of my pint before storming the fuck out while shaking my head and throwing my arms in the air.

I actually feel kind of bad about it at times, but i mean fuck, she KNEW what she was doing by deceiving me with those pics, i'd probably have punched the cunt if she didn't look like she could dismantle an entire battalion of men with her bear hands.

if a man just gives me a chance I know he'll fall in love with me!

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Ok I got a good one.
8 or 9 years ago I just split up with a serious ( at the time ) girlfriend of like 2 years.
I was pretty upset, I lived alone and worked 12hr swing shifts while going to school.
Anyways, I couldnt go to bars so I used Yahoo personals.
I was on like a 3 month dry spell, I would take anything. I found a cute round face girl that lived in my town
Her face was cute but I knew she was a ham beast, but I didnt care.
I set it up, took like 5 messages and she was coming over 7am the next morning.
My bed room window faced the parking lot so I could her coming.
What i saw was a Snorlax wearing a dodge neon.
Thats cool thou, I could handle that like I said dry spell

So she comes in and Im like "Ok I dont have a lot of time lets do this"
She looks kinda awkward as shes pulling down her loaded to capacity stretch pants.
When she gets them down her legs are covered in scars, self inflicted
She had craved words like "Beautiful" and "Glamour" in her legs, Im guessing all over her body, I didnt check the rest.
I didnt know what to say, it was 15 secs of silence. I had already gone this far so fuck it.

She called 3 times a day everyday for a week. I ignored them. She then started showing up at the door.
I had to break down and tell her she freaked me the fuck out.

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Only met one girl from the Internet in real life but I fucked her in the ass on the first date.

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Then one time I met a red headed girl off myspace, dated her for 5 years then married her.
Thanks a lot myspace...

There's GOT to be more...

Common themes with these posts:

1. Girls are always way fatter than then make themselves out to be on pictures and online personas.
2. None of these girls have cars.
3. Never follow warning signs
4. Dirty-ass sexual relations

Did you see the thread title and expect it to be full of personal success stories of us banging models that are heiresses to old money tycoons?

Ok I got a good one.
8 or 9 years ago I just split up with a serious ( at the time ) girlfriend of like 2 years.
I was pretty upset, I lived alone and worked 12hr swing shifts while going to school.
Anyways, I couldnt go to bars so I used Yahoo personals.
I was on like a 3 month dry spell, I would take anything. I found a cute round face girl that lived in my town
Her face was cute but I knew she was a ham beast, but I didnt care.
I set it up, took like 5 messages and she was coming over 7am the next morning.
My bed room window faced the parking lot so I could her coming.
What i saw was a Snorlax wearing a dodge neon.
Thats cool thou, I could handle that like I said dry spell

So she comes in and Im like "Ok I dont have a lot of time lets do this"
She looks kinda awkward as shes pulling down her loaded to capacity stretch pants.
When she gets them down her legs are covered in scars, self inflicted
She had craved words like "Beautiful" and "Glamour" in her legs, Im guessing all over her body, I didnt check the rest.
I didnt know what to say, it was 15 secs of silence. I had already gone this far so fuck it.

She called 3 times a day everyday for a week. I ignored them. She then started showing up at the door.
I had to break down and tell her she freaked me the fuck out.

This one is pretty bad.

Only met one girl from the Internet in real life but I fucked her in the ass on the first date.

Bitch probably didn't even feel that 'lil dick of yours, you pussy ass faggot!

Back when I was 20 living in Pittsburgh I decided to try online dating with OKC, I meet this nice looking Jewish guy and we set up a date. He picks me up from school his daddy paid for Lexus and takes me to lunch. I'm awkward as fuck and start talking about the Holocaust. He laughs. He takes me back to school and we talk about meeting again. This is where stage five clinger comes in.

I set up a date with him for the weekend, but each day leading up to that he keeps showing up to my school waiting for me. I feel that its a little odd, but okay whatever. He follows my bus I take out of the city to find out where I live. He shows up at my place I tell him I have lots of homework to do he goes away. Next day I'm sick and don't show up to school. He apparently shows up to the school and since I'm not there he shows up to my house. I tell him I'm sick. He brought me soup and wants to come in a take care of me. I told him to get the fuck out. He goes away again, but repeatedly calls/text and I eventually block his number. Not a week later I see him picking up another girl from my school.

Never again a Jewish guy.

MCohen, not even once.

Ok I got a good one.
8 or 9 years ago I just split up with a serious ( at the time ) girlfriend of like 2 years.
I was pretty upset, I lived alone and worked 12hr swing shifts while going to school.
Anyways, I couldnt go to bars so I used Yahoo personals.
I was on like a 3 month dry spell, I would take anything. I found a cute round face girl that lived in my town
Her face was cute but I knew she was a ham beast, but I didnt care.
I set it up, took like 5 messages and she was coming over 7am the next morning.
My bed room window faced the parking lot so I could her coming.
What i saw was a Snorlax wearing a dodge neon.
Thats cool thou, I could handle that like I said dry spell

So she comes in and Im like "Ok I dont have a lot of time lets do this"
She looks kinda awkward as shes pulling down her loaded to capacity stretch pants.
When she gets them down her legs are covered in scars, self inflicted
She had craved words like "Beautiful" and "Glamour" in her legs, Im guessing all over her body, I didnt check the rest.
I didnt know what to say, it was 15 secs of silence. I had already gone this far so fuck it.

She called 3 times a day everyday for a week. I ignored them. She then started showing up at the door.
I had to break down and tell her she freaked me the fuck out.

JESUSSSSSS

MCohen, not even once.

JESUSSSSSS

Yea sometimes slump busters come with a price. Ill never forget that girl as long as I live.

Yea sometimes slump busters come with a price. Ill never forget that girl as long as I live.

Thus the reason im not going the "slump buster" route. I'll just stick to beating off in shame

Now shes married to some dickless bible thumping chode. Glad i ruined her when i had the chance.

yes I'm sure you were the one that turned her into a whore.

Thus the reason im not going the "slump buster" route. I'll just stick to beating off in shame

I agree, that seems to be the better idea.

this fucking thread

Wish I had a story about slamming some pluto sized chicks cause I got some sick names to call the heffers

Ok I got a good one.
8 or 9 years ago I just split up with a serious ( at the time ) girlfriend of like 2 years.
I was pretty upset, I lived alone and worked 12hr swing shifts while going to school.
Anyways, I couldnt go to bars so I used Yahoo personals.
I was on like a 3 month dry spell, I would take anything. I found a cute round face girl that lived in my town
Her face was cute but I knew she was a ham beast, but I didnt care.
I set it up, took like 5 messages and she was coming over 7am the next morning.
My bed room window faced the parking lot so I could her coming.
What i saw was a Snorlax wearing a dodge neon.
Thats cool thou, I could handle that like I said dry spell

So she comes in and Im like "Ok I dont have a lot of time lets do this"
She looks kinda awkward as shes pulling down her loaded to capacity stretch pants.
When she gets them down her legs are covered in scars, self inflicted
She had craved words like "Beautiful" and "Glamour" in her legs, Im guessing all over her body, I didnt check the rest.
I didnt know what to say, it was 15 secs of silence. I had already gone this far so fuck it.

She called 3 times a day everyday for a week. I ignored them. She then started showing up at the door.
I had to break down and tell her she freaked me the fuck out.

This story ends too abruptly - what did she do/say when she was standing at your door after you told her she freaks you out?

It makes me feel so lonely when no one gives a shit about my response in these kinds of threads

Not really, but fuck... someone should at least give me a frowny

How fucking weird are you to post this? Your story just wasn't that good

This story ends too abruptly - what did she do/say when she was standing at your door after you told her she freaks you out?

She asked if it was because of the cutting, I was like Yea doe duh. She looked kinda sad, said I was a cool guy and left. It was awkward.